Love?

hey,its me again..

just got back from a dinner with him..

been missing him so much..was so excited to meet him..

yeah cant wait to give him wot i bought for him from bandung..

hopefully he will like it..

i know its not a million dollar present but its sincerely from me..from my heart..

i bought him a wallet..a leather wallet from bandung..yeah i know bandung its famous with its leather stuff..so i bought him one..

after i got into the car i gave him..

he's like "wot brand is it?" and i said "its forenzi" yea i know im also havent heard of the brand..

but its nice..for me..i dont know him..

he said nothing bout it..

so i put it at the back seat..

feeling sad..

but he doesnt know bout it..

i just keep it to myself..

coz he never ask or he should know..

if he doesnt like it plz at least tell me that the wallet is nice n thanked me..

show ur appreciation..

then we're off to klcc..

planning of watching the prom nite movie..

yeah we did..

b4 we went to the movie,he said he need something to bite so we went to the mcd..

i watched him eating..

yeah he's the only one..i've ate already..just to cut cost..

i know he needs to maintain his budgets..

so he ate..n i just watched him..

i asked him about his plan of goin back to UK..

he'll leave on 18th dec 08..

i said "ouwh okay"..

why he doesnt ask me?ask about my feelings?ask about how am i going to handle about he's leaving..

its sad u know..and dissapointed of his act..

he hurts me so bad..silently..

why?

does he loves me?

who am i to him?

wot are my status to him?

where am i in his life?

or in his heart?

plz god give me a sign..

n told him that i was goin to get him a shoes when im off to bandung..

n u know wot does he said?

he said "original ke?"

yeahh..its fucking hurt okay!

god!

kalau tak original pun..i still have the effort to buy him something..

but the thing is, its fucking original

god i actually crying typing this blog..

i know am not from a rich family..

im just a normal girl with a normal family..

i know that ok..

but u dont haf to treat me that way..

i tak layak for u ke?

am i?

plz lah..

i dont know how far can i go on like this..

i dont know how long can i stand it..

i love u..so much..

ure not like others that only craving for sex life..

i hate that kind of guy..

but plz show me that u love me and u care...

im so sad..

i dont know..

shit i hate my life..

current feeling : gloomy,sad,dissapointed,useless

at the tgv bathroom